Well, after a morning in Probate and an encounter with the Coxsackie virus I’m finally onto the Magpie. Sheesh, what a morning.

My travails this AM probably can’t quite equal the trauma of being eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

In statistics I learned the horrifying truth; ice cream causes drowning! Here are more correlation != causation charts of other horrifying statistical conclusions.

Okay, when we buy his salsa, we do call it douchebag salsa, but we still buy it because it’s pretty good for jarred salsa. Yet however you may feel about the cult of celebrity chefs, I think this review of the new Guy Fieri restaurant in Times Square kind of goes over the top. To blame Fieri for making the country increase their concern trolling (read: “obesity epidemic”) is pretty crazy. I mean, tourists eat where they eat and it’s not like Fieri is coming into our home forcing us to eat his “Vegas Fries”. The writing also reeks of classism, food being one of the few aspects of American society where class divisions are palpable.